I was married for 10 years, when my husband suddenly decided to leave (to go with another woman). I had married for life and took my marriage vows seriously before God. Over the years, I was so caught up in trying to keep my husband happy, that I took my eyes off God. My husband alternatively, caught up in the rugby and drinking culture, had not given up his single life, and went with other women. I was naive, slow to find out and shocked when he left.
At the time my three sons were aged 4yrs, 6.5 yrs and 8 yrs old. They were devastated because their father not only left me, but them also. He made no contact. Information filtered through his family. We were new to town and didn't know anyone else except a couple of neighbours as acquaintances. We were miserable.
God in His faithfulness was watching over us; I was being drawn to Him with thoughts like "the children need to learn some discipline, maybe they should go to Sunday school". One Sunday morning the phone rang unexpectedly (it never rang). We all jumped out of bed wondering who would be ringing. It was a lady I had never met. My mother had asked her to ring me, saying I was thinking of taking the children to church. I was unsure, saying that "if we were ready in time, we would meet her outside the nearest church, but if not, don't wait for us as we wouldn't be coming". That was my way of opting out if I lost my nerve. I was very shy.
I didn't get a chance to not go as the boys all got ready in record time. We went and sure enough mother's friend was waiting outside. She had four sons who took my boys in to children's church, acting like old buddies in no time. I went with the woman into the service. During the service I felt the presence of God surrounding me and melting my tension away. I didn't understand what was happening, but sensed the woman sitting with me did. I wept and was so embarrassed. I also noticed, in parallel to my personal experience, that the service (to my disappointment) was the same dry patterned teachings I had heard as a child. Nothing had changed. My experience seemed separate from what was happening in the building or service. My heart was crying out "will someone please help me,..save me". But the service ended and we left with the minister politely shaking hands with me at the door, saying nothing to my surprise, as it was obvious I was upset. I was very embarrassed and lost hope.
Outside the church I felt I owed the woman who had befriended me, an explanation for my tears, so accepted her invitation back to her home for coffee. Her boys and my boys wanted to continue playing. They were having a great time with their new friends. So off we went. I sat on her veranda in the sun while she made coffee. As I quietly waited, another wave of the Presence surrounded me again, and I wept. I couldn't understand what was happening and wondered if I was losing my mind. The lady returned with the drinks and said gently "I can see the Holy Spirit is touching you". She then suggested we went for a walk in the park and that she had a wise friend that understood the ways of the Holy Spirit better than her, and we could see her, if it was OK with me. I went along thinking at least someone knows what it going on.
As we walked, I talked. I talked about all the things that went wrong in my marriage and my part in contributing to the breakdown. That day, without realizing, I was repenting. I ended up saying "no wonder my husband left me" and knew I was not blaming him. Our walk around the park ended at the wise godly woman's home. As we sat talking, another wave of God's Holy Spirit encompassed me. I wept. The godly woman took me to a private room and told me that God's Son Jesus has sacrificed His life on the cross for everything wrong I had done, and will do in my life. That Jesus stood before God the Father on my behalf, saying he had paid for my sins. It was as if they were washed away. "Could I accept His sacrifice for me personally?" she asked "and hand my life over to Jesus, making Him Lord of my life?" She led me in prayer. "I thought to my self "what have I got to lose. If it is not true, then nothing has changed, but if it is true, I have everything to gain", so I followed her in prayer; asking for forgiveness and handing my life over. Asking Jesus to take over and be Lord of my life. Afterward the wise woman asked me to read the book of John in the Bible, as it would show me who Jesus is, Jesus is the Word, and existed from the beginning etc. She also asked me to tell someone about this step in faith I had taken. I knew I would tell my eldest brother and his wife, as they would understand, being bible believing Christians, free and different from 'religious' people I had observed. Now I knew their secret; Jesus!
I went home and the next morning it was as if I was seeing everything for the first time. Colours were brighter and a 'film' was gone. I could see clearer! When I read the Bible, the words jumped out and spoke to me in amazing ways, guiding, instructing and encouraging me. I felt renewed. Then I rang and spoke to my brother's wife. She told me God would guide me to the right place of fellowship and worship. I was surprised she didn't tell me where to go herself. Her faith from afar in the Father to guide me impressed me. How wise, because that set me on a path of searching for the right place. The right place was found after some interesting experiences with the wrong places, which I immediately witnessed in my spirit were wrong. I knew immediately when we walked into the doors of the right place. We were welcomed by a little old lady with eyes alive with life. She made my sons feel at home immediately and I relaxed when I saw them responding to her. The people were so friendly with each other, talking excitedly and then the service started with guitar, drums and piano! I couldn't believe how lively it was. I watched the people worship, tears rolling down cheeks as the Presence of the Holy Spirit touched them. I felt I had come home. This was God's house. I joined the new Christians class and as I learnt to walk with Jesus, I shared my new discoveries with my son's, who immediately joined me on the same exciting journey of discovery. We had began a new adventure, not knowing what the future held, but knowing we were safe in the new family of our Heavenly Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit.
